I have a fear. It is of dying. And not by getting old.
It is by something awful....like hit by a bus or dying by botulism.

And I can't just think I might die. I have to play out the whole frigging scene in my head!!!

Last night I made spaghetti sauce. Home made with home canned tomatoes from our garden.

"Don't use those." said the husband. "They might have botulism and we could die!!!"

Of course I told him they do not have it. There are no mold spots, acid spots in the lid, or broken seals. We will be fine.

Mind you that I have NO real idea what botulism is. So I come to work this morning and get online. I find out that it is a SERIOUSLY nasty thing. It causes you to loose TOTAL muscle control. So basically you drool, pee yourself, have no reflexes and then YOU DIE.

I read this and the 1st symptom is to feel light headed. So of course I start to get light headed. Down right dizzy. I had to tell myself to KNOCK IT OFF before I collapsed on the floor drooling.

Why do I do that? It is like when I come home from work. I drive on the top of the bridge. I can see myself going over EVERY DAY. When will my brain shut down?????

Just wondering.

Oh and it takes 18 to 36 hours for the botulism to show up. So if I don't write again...I'm DEAD.

Have a nice day.